It is the beginning of the end or already over...

It is the beginning of the end or already the end when a woman is  fed up and has stopped arguing and or crying about you, because of you or for you. It take a loooong time (men seem to get here quicker); often YEARS for her to get there. Years that have been based and bathed in many failed and false promises, hurts, unresolved issues, disappointments, her trying to talk and tell but not being heard or respected, etc. Now you men experience this as well but again it takes you less time and chances to come to this place than women. 

Everyone's emotions; particularly those demonstrated are tied to the heart. We argue, cry, get angry, pray because we are hurt, disappointed, concerned, want something or bod to change or want to be heard and understood. We (she) cry, hurt, are concerned because we care...Care about you, the relationship, the situation. Her silence and lack of tears denotes she is no longer hurt or angry...She cares...for you. But she has come to a place call RESOLVE. She has accepted (resolved) - is at peace (soul's mind and emotion) that her man - the relationship or situation will not change. She is done. She is moving towards or already has a plan. She may live with you, be with you, do for you, talk to you but her heart will be far from you. 

This my dear brothers is not a good place to be and not one you want or should ever allow it or her to get to this place. God's Word tell you in 1 Pet 3:5-8, "...husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way (patience) [be a good husband to your wife, with great gentleness and tact, and with an intelligent regard for the marriage relationship, honor them, delight in them], as with someone physically weaker, since she is a woman. Show her honor and respect as a fellow heir of the grace of life (as a equal), so that your prayers will not be hindered or ineffective. Finally, all of you be like-minded [united in spirit], sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted [courteous and compassionate toward each other as members of one household], and humble in spirit;..."

Go get her: 

Pray (alone and together), talk, share, communicate, get counsel, be patient and loving, tell the truth, be honest, be kind in word and deed, have fun together, seek 1st (as the head and leader) to understand before you see to be understood. Resolve and seek agreement, peace and harmony. Don't settle for a roommate situation. She wants to love you (again), admire you, trust you, respect you...She really does want to exhale but she has held her breath so long waiting for you...that last thing was the pin that let her air out. She is deflated; probably not defeated (with that comes depression) but your genuine: effort, apology, an ask of forgiven, truthfulness and consistent steps towards change and rebuilding will inflate her again. It may be slow but slow and steady allows makes for good landing and port-a-cal. Catch that on your way home...😚😉🤔  You make think it is easier to let her go and get another but it's not. You've both invested too much. Treating, deweeding, fertilizing, and caring for and about your lawn is always best!!

Please note:

You have to want the relationship - marriage and all that comes with it as much as you want her and all the benefits; sex, cooked meals, clean house, etc. that come from having her. As the head and leader you have ALL access to God and the authority to command the devil to back up...sit down...shut up and get out of you, her, and your marriage...And that my dear brother is find and show nuf sexy to your woman! Just think what more you can have with her and get from her and God when you seek 1st to please Him and her. 

#drtuesday #DrTuesdayTIdbit #TheRelationshipCoach #RelatonshipsRule

What I've Learned | Tips to Help You #CYBS | Wisdom of Comey

On the morning of Comey's testimony before the Senate, I am remembering my Corporate America days; 1st with IBM, then EDS, Corning Labs, and finally GTE (now Verizon). About this time 18 years ago in May/June (I had just turned 32) under the leading of the Holy Spirit, I stepped out on faith and left it all: world travel, fine restaurants and hotels, weekend side-trips to islands, 6 figure salary, fast track to Vice President with an assigned mentor, purchased my home at 27, nice cars, etc.; I was living the life. 

In an overly predominant Caucasian male industry (System Engineer, Quality Auditor and Systems and Process Auditor - Certified in ALL) my knowledge and skills were often questioned, challenged, and tested. However, once my ability to do my job; often out performing my counter-parts, coming in on-time and under budget with good customer feedback, most would backup and down. Often the only double quota (Black Female) in the office or position, I sometimes faced subtle chauvinistic and prejudice mindsets. Never were they mean or overtly disrespectful. I must say, most of my years in Corporate was pleasant.  I do recall an inappropriare female and or black joke was tried during my tender 20's at one of those companies. I of course calmly and immediately shut that down. Side Note:  Don't start or allow anything that makes you uncomfortable.  They (men more than the women) were helpful to assist when I asked and share even when I didn't. I sensed and discovered that most (all) would only provide some knowledge and information but NEVER all! Leaving me to unnecessarily have to take time to go and get the rest of the information for myself.  The hope probrably being I would get overwhelmed, not be able to find it, fix it or get it done  However, what may have been meant to subtly sabotage became the set-up for my continuous growth and success. So much so, I advanced in Fortunate 100 and 500 companies in salary; quadrupling to 6 figures and in position from Systems Engineer to being selected - hand picked for the Vice President Mentor Training Program in a short span of 7 years. 

Because of the challenges I encountered and not knowing what could be said in a formal, informal, or impromptu meeting that perhaps later could be used for or 'against' me, I was led early on (not sure how I knew...ok God led me) to 'take notes'...Document-Document-Document. Like Comey, it saved me many a time...What I would like to share with you; Professionals and specifically; women and AA (minority) professionals is...

What Learned: 

1) Never come into a meeting without pen & notepad -  today that maybe your tablet. This is called Covering Your Backside #CYBS.

2) Jot down key words that will spark you member of what was said when you document the conversation 

3) While it is fresh, immediately after the meeting write-type-record a memo on your phone 

4) At a minimum, keep it though your next 2 reviews - If it can effect your job (positive or negative) later, keep it   

5) ALWAYS keep-save these types if documents-memos, thank you-appreciation emails/letters from clients, customers, peers, leadership, management, etc. on a separate drive 

6) Write your emails and personal notes like they may be used in a deposition : clear, concise, professional, and on topic 

7) NEVER write an email when you are angry - If you are not sure of your tone - have some you trust read it - read it aloud 

8) Never make known your hand until (if-when) it is needed and even then don't reveal the whole 

9) Find - get a mentor and a career coach 

10) Never let them see you sweat - cry, curse, scream in your car - at home 

11) Ask for help even when you know or have the answer 

12) Sure go to lunch - be mindful of what you say & share - NEVER gossip with co-workers about co-workers - use the infamous 'mmm', 'wow', 'really', 'hmmm' ... If damaging things were said document and never repeat it  - Going shows you are a team player - not saying anything makes you look suspicious or untrustworthy 

13) I say do not drink; during or after work hours with your co-workes. If you do only drink half a glass. NEVER get drunk with your team members and or co-workers.  Once on a business trip in Toronto, we met over lunch. They would order a bottle at lunch. I was in my early 20's and did not know how to say, 'No, thank you.".  I took a class, sipped a couple of times and left rest.  Though they considered it rude to not join them, today I would earnestly and politely decline.  

14) Find something (1-3 things) to share to talk about that is non-work related. Stay away from things like: spouse/marriage issues (good or bad - once you share good the expectation and natural progression is to and will be to share the bad), sexual encounters, 'Vegas' and drunken escapades, etc. In short, limit your real deep personal life issue.  If you don't want it known or repeated, don't share it in your office, business, professional settings.  

***Training leaders and professional for advancement and success***  

#TheVisionConsultant #DrTuesday A #DrTuesdayTidbit

New book Coming November, 2017

I Tasted My Tears Today was conceived at a time in Dr. Tuesday’s life where she had to taste her own tears because of her own decisions and a season in her life that God allowed her to face many challenges, trials, and losses. It was in tasting her tears she discovered a concealed disappointment with God. Had she not tasted the salt of these tears that held unhealed and unresolved hurt, pain, disappointment, fear, all the many questions of why…Had she not faced this truth; disappointment sat in silence transition disappointment to anger…with God.

I Tasted My Tears Today addresses times in our lives where we had to look at ourselves, face, confront, and tell the truth about why we are where we are and what really happened.  It was either what God allowed brought the questions of what HE allowed we vehemently fought against because we didn’t understand, trust Him or the process but it happened anyway or HE allowed it and we opposed it and did the opposite of what HE was directing us to do singing “I Will Do It My Way” or finally, it was a choice we made that brought us to this place and now it’s consequence we are living with.  And in it and through it, we had to taste our tears; tears of disappointment, frustration, hopeless, fear and anger with yourself, other people, and maybe even God.  Allowing yourself to taste your tears is apart of the necessary reality check and the healing process.

Now birthed. Dr. Tuesday invites you to take in this riveting compilation by thirteen independent authors who joins her in telling their story and speaking their truth from pain to truth to victory.  It is at the conclusion of each author’s story that you get a glimpse into Dr. Tuesday’s narrative related to the same topic. 

Tears once salty now sweet; sadness now joy; I Tasted My Tears Today will captivate you. You will laugh.  You will cry.  You will be challenged and celebrate with the writer.  You will gain a greater understanding of the importance and power of tasting and considering your tears.  Now, taste and see…

Dr. Tuesday Tate, once again, enters the literary world with a phenomenal venture and has now invited others to join her on this venture. Her personal mission synergizes her passions of purpose to elevate and charge others to their greatest potential through ministry, motivational speaking, writing, relationship coaching, and training.  Dr. Tuesday is charged and thrilled to be living out this part of her life’s purpose and helping others to do the same.  Through ATK Publishing, she provides practical and applicable training and equipping to authors and writers that help them tell their story and speak their truth.

God Does ReGIft

The Challenge 

Have you ever found yourself challenged or questioning how what was a blessings has now become a burden (weighs you down, overly frustrates or stresses you, brings no peace, offers no help, adds nothing to you, oppresses or depresses you, confusion) ... What changed : you, the blessed thing (the gift of or from God) or God...Was the 'blessing' really from God (for every good and perfect gift comes from above) or a manufactured (you made it) blessing... "For the blessings of the Lord make us rich (adds to us, makes a better, may come with challenges - opposition but God gives us what we need to overcome) and adds no sorrow to it or us and neither does toiling obtain or keep it" (Prov 10:22, Amp).

In other words, when the BLESSING (the job, promotion, relationship, degree, house, car(s), etc.) is from God, toil (excessive, continuous hard labor), worry, fear, frustration, anxiety, anger, insecurity, doubt, oppression, depression, sorrow (feelings of deep distress caused by loss or fear of loss, disappointment, or a misfortune suffered by oneself or others due to a bad or emotional decision or choice) are not in it. Those things are not from God but the enemy within and or without!  Let me help us: God's blessing (what is from Him) does not change and neither does HE change.  If it was 'all that' in the beginning and through the middle, quit possibly it was from God!  The blessing(s) you rejected, mishandle, dismiss is still a BLESSING. Except now, God has to recondition it to give it to someone else to receive, appreciate, value, keep, maintain, add to, etc.  It (the blessing) could be an idea, a partner, a lover, friend, job, spouse, house, increase, opportunity, etc.

The truth is what and or who changes is us...We change our mind, feelings, our level of interest, commitment, focus, attention, gratefulness, passion, love, appreciation, desire, etc.  We take for granted the blessing God has given us.  Often we make God's BLESSING(s) - His good thing(s) a bad thing(s) because we make lifelong impacting decisions based on ever changing feelings that influence our choices.  The result is often loss, hurt and regret. We ruin, mishandle, mistreat, misappropriate the blessings!  And often damage them and or ourselves for the next.  Thank God that HE does and knows how to regift.  

The Support

Remember Matt 25; the story of the talents.  The Master took the gift - the blessing from the one who did not honor or value it's worth.  HE gave it to the one who knew how to handle a treasure - a blessing. And we cannot forget Abigail in 1 Samuel 25.  She was married to Nabal (the fool).  Her husband (Nabal) mishandled, dishonored and disrespected his position and her (his gift - blessing) and God removed him from the equation and gave her to David.  God gave her to her husband (Nabal) to honor, help him, and to help him do the right but he did not.  HE gave him chance(s) to get it together and he didn't.  HE continued to speak (thru others including his wife) to him but he didn't listen.  So, his good thing was given to someone else.  God ReGift His gift!  Yes, what God has for us is for us but we gott'a do right by it, Him, and others.  No, HE will not (every again) repent or regret His giving us a gift or blessing (for the gifts of God are without (HIS) repentance)...but we (bout) need to repent often..daily for how we handle not only our gift(s) but our lives, others, and our relationship with Him

God seeks to give each of us a good thing(s).  His desire is not to withhold any good thing from us. HE gives us time to seek Him, see it, get it together, deal with ourselves, hear Him, and obey Him to receive it.  Decide today to no longer waste time on whose fault it is, tell the truth, take responsibly, forgive, chart a difference course, and chose be diligent to respect, value, honor His gift; the  blessing that HE has given or wants to bestow upon you; including yourself and the gift of life.  If you don't know how, ask Him and HE will.  If possible and feasible, be sure to inquire of the blessed thing what is desired - necessary for it to know its level of importance to you.  

The Truth

As we close out 2015, let's reflect. Consider your ways, choices, decisions, actions...Be honest - real with yourself and others... Don't look at them only.  Let us look at us. No blame - No pointing fingers - No tit-for-tat.  Ask yourself the hard questions..."Did God reward me with a blessing (that job, house, increase in my finances, relationship, woman, man, spouse, friendship, transportation, business, opportunity, connection, etc.) and I ruined it"..."Did I change God's blessing to a burden with my stink'n thinking, wavering emotions, insecurities, past positions, prideful or selfish neglect?" 

So how do I make it "right"... what does this look like?  Glad you asked...It certainly means at a minimum, an apology & request for forgiveness and  t may mean moving on.  Or it may allow for reconciliation but either way...DO NOT go into your new year with unresolved issues & open doors of uncertainty & confusion.  

Here is a good way to know which 'right' to take:

Leave your pray (request for all the stuff you (keep) ask(ing) God to do and for and go make it right.  If possible, be reconciled.  Help us Lord see ourselves, our role and be the first partaker of our own advice or medicine. 

1. Did you make a rash, emotional decision 
2. Did you ask God before you made the decision, spoke it and moved forward in it 
3. Did you seek wise counsel or were you your own counsel
4. Has your decision brought more hurt, pain, confusion, despair, loneliness, frustration, anxiety, uncertainty, unhappiness, etc.
5. Does the thought of "your gift" being ReGifted makes very uncomfortable, jealous, etc. 
6. Looking yourself in the mirror - you now admit that you gave up - you didn't do everything you could - you didn't fight for it - you gave the devil not only a foot-hole but full access - this one was on you
7. Under close true self-examination you are forced to acknowledge and conclude that you had a good thing and blow it 
8. You have not missed a day - gone very few moments without reconsidering - thinking about the gift you gave back
9. Were there parts/aspects of the gift - the blessing you never tapped into, appreciated, use, explored, decorated...
10. Are there still dreams/goals that God spoke to you when it was good (before you changed) that are tied to that gift - blessing
11. Do you - have you experienced any regret from your decision 
12. If you had it to do over again, would you handle it - do it the same way 
13. This last one is real easy, if 1-12 are in the affirmative...Then this one is/was on you...Go and make it right!  

14. The only question God has for you is 

    Do you want - desire - believe it is My will for you to have the gift - the blessing I gave to you back...?  If yes, (and even if no) ...for your God Relationship sake here is the solution:

The Solution

• Repent; change your mind about it-the situation-the person(s)

True REPENTANCE is not feeling sorrow for yourself but sorrowful that you (knowingly or unknowingly, intentionally or not) hurt or disappointed or dishonored God (and others) and or what HE has blessed you with.  It is Godly sorrow that leads to repentance that causes us to want to make things right, do the right thing...change our behavior.  Always knowing what we can't do on our own, we can do with and through God, His Word (truth), prayer and accountability!

• Die to you - Humble yourself  
• Ask God for forgiveness 

For being unappreciative and dishonoring  Him and His gift...for being presumptuous and prideful in thinking that you know better than Him, for not asking Him what to do and how to do, for doing it your way as if HE didn't know what was best for you or have a plan for you (in that job, position  relationship, marriage, etc.) 

• If people are involved, ask them for forgiveness 
• Forgive yourself 
• Ask Him for His will and instruction - to remove fear - to make your way good and your timing right - that you are receive ...
• Then obey Him quickly and fully
• If possible (with God all things are possible), while you still have time (life, breath, opportunity, chance); go and be reconciled - go make it 'right' with them (your spouse, your manager, your pastor, your children, the love of your life, your parents, your friend, etc.) 

The Conclusion
You will know when you get there if reconciliation includes restoration and reuniting!  Be ready to do the work to regain - win back - buy back your gift - the blessing - your good thing.  After all, isn't that what Jesus did for you - for us all!  

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View Relationships Rule videos at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0rpjGLhAYIzoSWZW33ykvw

Be sure to visit Dr. Tuesday's website at www.drtuesday.net.  

Order her book and request a signing at http://atkpublishing.wix.com/atkpublishingwaiting

Back at Wait(ing)...Now What?

What to do when you are back at wait...

After you have received what you thought was your answer to prayer, your blessings, your good job, your dream house, your good "thang", then something happens and you are back at wait(ting). I pray this EXCERPT from my book "Waiting: Mastering the UnAvoidable" page 277 will encourage, bless, and strengthen you in your waiting place, for the journey to your now (present) and next (future)!

"It is the self-accusation and doubt of why you are back at wait that makes the return and the season more difficult.  What did I not learn the first or the last time that I am sentenced again to wait? What did I miss? Beloved, may I bring comfort to your confusion and the series of questions that you may be bombarding your brain with?  It very well could have been nothing wrong with you or with what you did wrong.  You took your medicine, completed your treatments, and got a clean bill of health, but here you are back at waiting on the results from a routine test.  Does that mean you did something wrong? Not necessarily and sometimes, absolutely not.  Mistakes are simply a part of the process of life; some more costly than others.  But be encouraged! If (when) Christ is in you and you are in Him, it will all work together for your good.  Healing and restoration is still the children of God’s bread.   HE still took the stripes and by His stripes you are healed physically, emotionally, mentally, etc.  

Ok, you missed it. The signs, the indicators, the flags, the blinking lights, and the warnings.  Like many of us, you were led or drawn away by your heart’s desires and emotions.  Maybe, your (lust) flesh, eyes, and appetites lead you astray.  Yes, they deceived you and everyone else.  Maybe, you did cast your pearls before that which was not worthy.  Ok, all that may be or is the case but now it is time to let it (or...him or her) go.  Stop beating yourself up.  Leave it and them there.  Remember, your past cannot tell you anything different or new.  Can you look yourself in the mirror and say, "I did my best, I did right concerning it, them or us. Where I missed it, I have or will apologize and ask for forgiveness, I forgive them and I forgive me..."  If you can do that, it is time to do like the song my little nieces sing says, "Let it go, let it go! Turn away and  slam the door." You’ve been there and through there (it) already.  No more going back in your mind, emotions, and some of you in person. In most cases, certainly without a heart and mind change (and committed to that), you will not find anything new or different in your past.  

Despite what it looks and feels like, you made it through and out!  The Bible says, "...why do you turn your back again to the weak and miserable elements (thought, habits)..." Galatians 4:9 (and I would add people).  Why are you returning, going back in any way shape or form to what God has expelled from you and released you from?  No more beating yourself up with “what if”, “why didn’t I, how could they (I), I should have seen or known better, I so...”.  Stop it! No regrets.  God can, is willing and able to give you bigger, better, greater and more.  Your next string (of pearls – your heart cries of love and nurturing) will be from fresh water.  You (your love, your heart) will be precious and highly valued (esteemed) by the one who receives you (your pearls).   In all this, all that you went through and will face in life, God’s grace was and is still sufficient.  His love, which encompasses His commitment to you and forgiveness of you, still covers a multitude of sins, iniquities, trespasses, mistakes, and wrong decisions."

Wait on the Lord. Your Next (future) will be bigger, better, greater, more than you could have asked thought or imagined. It (what you went through, lost, experienced) will be worth the wait! 

Order your copy today at http://atkpublishing.wix.com/atkpublishingwaiting 

Be sure to visit my website at  www.drtuesday.net.


Join me for one of my upcoming Book Signings (10/25 has been cancelled).

#DrTuesday 

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View Relationships Rule videos at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0rpjGLhAYIzoSWZW33ykvw

A Note to My Love - #3

Good morning Love. Thank for letting me to be me. Thank you for encouraging me, supporting me, believing in me and helping me be what and who all God has called me to be.  Thank you for accepting and receiving me - my words, my wisdom, my input, my good days and my not so good moments.  Even in our differences we are strong together and find harmony.  Thank you for every compliment, touch, and look of affection, affirmation and approval.  Thank you for being with me and for me.  Thank you that I am on your mind and your desire and pleasure is for me only.  Thank you that with you I feel and I know I am (all of me is) secure & protected.  My heart is yours and yours is mine.  Thank you for our laughs, fun times and making me smile.   Thank you for the music we make together and the ministry we do.  Thank you that we have agreed to not only make each other smile but Daddy God smile first.  All things are for His Glory.  Thank you for your passion!  And making our purpose clear.  Thank you for being a man I can follow and submit to because you have direction, a vision.  You are a leader who follows Christ and I can and choose to willingly follow and submit too.  Thank you for loving me thoroughly thru Him as yourself…and even mo’ better.  Thank you for your kindness, goodness, gentleness, and giving spirit towards me.  Thank you that I am your # 1 and I am your priority - in this I do not doubt.  With these things my love for you grows and my love wants and desires you more.  God sent you and I am grateful that I did not give up, give in or settle.  I have become the woman I am to be given you - the man I dreamed of.  It is my honor to be called your confidant - your love - your bride - your crown - your wife fo' life!  I am blessed to be your helpmate - your partner - your friend - your lover - your cheerleader - your confidant - your roadie - your wife fo' life. My life is good now and our's together will be great and grand. Preparation and opportunity have met and kissed and it is time - our time! I am moved by you to wait on and for you. I wait eagerly for you! Love you love! 

The SSHHH Effect - Single Saved Holy Hot and H _ _ _ _

What is the "SSHHH Effect?"

Don't tell nobody but, "I...want..." Then that word is dropped...horny. But what does Horny really mean?

SSHHH...

• Single – w/o matrimony, not married – includes, widowed, divorced, and never married – engaged does not = married just spoken for. 
• Saved – freed from the law of sin and death, redeemed by another’s sacrifice.
• Holy – given to or belonging to God, consecrated/set apart for/dedicated/devoted to God’s service/use, declared sacred, pure in heart (Ps 51), worthy of worship (to be worshipped for God – to do worship for us), mature (be holy for I am), moving towards/to be perfect – w/o sin 
• Hot – full of strong feelings, very eager, burning, underneath or within
• Horny – feeling of lust, Hornie = Scottish meaning for the Devil

You are running around saying, "I am sooooo horny!" Who, by the way, men do not use this term. So what you are speaking back into yourself is "I am soooooo out of control!" "I am the (of the) devil!" I charge and encourage you; Christian brothers and sisters to remove this word from you vocal! I (we) know you have desires - wants and some would say needs, but this word is not one that you should use to describe it.

The power of tongue. Watch it and get control over it. Some of the stuff you get into, is simply because you have spoken it. So, you wonder why when you have prayed and maybe even fasted to not "slip" and fall into sexual acts? You can't seem to help it or yourself - lose control! Well. you declared it with those lips of yours. You say you are HORNY, then you become that! LUST is simply a desire that is out of control.

Galatians 6:8 says, "8For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life." 

Let me remind you.

1. Your desires are normal – God gave them to you. 
2. So, the issue is not the desire - it is you - that dag gone flesh.
3. We must learn to control it.

God never told you to suppress your feelings or desires, but to get some control of it and them and deny (reject, refuse) it - that flesh.

• Control – to have power and authority over, restrain, to check -- REMEMBER - the Holy Spirit is in control and will help you. 
• Suppress – to put an end to, to stop my force, to keep in, hold back, do not disclose (suppress the truth), to keep secret/silent (by force) – SHHH.

Matthew 26:41. "41Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
John 6:63, "63It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing." 

FLESH...the stuff going on underneath your skin - itching to manifest on the outside. Girl - Dude just admit it - your flesh is weak! After all these years of waiting right and then a very brief season of growing weak "in love".... I understand. But know that God can, is and will be a keeper. If you have missed it and are missing it - stop. Ask Him for forgiveness, ask Him for help and strength for yourself and the person you are in relationship with. HE will come. HE will strengthen you and HE will keep you both!

Mums the word, or the surprising feeling gives the enemy and or the flesh power to more easily operate behind and underneath the skin. This is often why so many of us struggle. You need to be accountable to someone. So how do I do I not walk in the flesh:

1. Know that it is done and you and stand against and walk in the freedom of your flesh not controlling you - it is by the GRACE of GOD in us - through the Spirit who teaches us by deny ungodliness and worldly lusts and its practice. 
2. Watch and pray 
• pray in private (over and about yourself) 
• pray in public (with each other)
• ask God to help you be strong 
• ask Him to give you the power to say no
• if you are too weak, ask Him to take away your lust of the flesh it - bring back your desire when your spouse comes and reserve it for the other side of "I Do" - this was and has been my prayer - HE has been faithful to do
3. Do not or stop putting yourself in compromising situations. 
• if U know U can't handle a dark movie with leg rubbing and neck touching - U might want to put yourself in that place and space 
• if U can't do the big Luther - u might want to stop having it playing when your date comes over. 
4. Tell the truth to someone about your struggle - be accountable to someone and tell them the TRUTH the whole TRUTH

You will and can do it. Imagine what it will be like when it is right!

*Unless otherwise noted, all thoughts, expressions, quotes, etc. are the original words/creation/conceptions of #Dr. Tuesday.

Relationship Seasons

I recently had a 40+ yr old man say to me, "the 1st year that U date a person is their representative".  I thought that was hilarious but could hold some truth. After I finished laughing I asked him if I could use this in my blog.  So here we go.   


To some degree, I agree with his statement.  I believe that God can and will do a perfect and complete quick work in Him for His will His plan and His glory in your life when bringing people together.  What can take some a year to get to see and know and be confident - assured of God's will, can take others a few months; one or two seasons.  If you are a Believer and trying to wait right, I don't recommend much more than that else you find yourself on the altar repenting.   I also believe "complete perfect quick works" are reserved for mature self aware people.  Where both parties know themselves and are honest with themselves and willing to be honest with their future spouse; good, bad, indifferent,  struggles, strengths, weakness, etc.  However,  for most, it is important to date someone; and that could include engagement -  thru the seasons of a year. Why?  Often a person's personality - nature or natural can correlate to the seasons of spirit.  I often say, "oh what a difference a year can make." Meaning, in most situations, since we are not able to experience the person we are dating thru every season or every challenge of their life (unless we date them "forever") - U can use the seasons of nature to give U a pretty good indication of how they will respond to life situation as U date thru Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall - naturally and or spiritually.  

We ask that the real you - them please stand up and come forth.  Consider the following and note - all seasons have both a  spiritual and natural component to them:


Season descriptions

1. Winter: things are dead/gone, cold, stiff, depression, covered up, layer, a sense of lifelessness, no progress, slow movement, patterns, coming in early, days shorter, idle time, inside more, clingy/attached.
2. Spring: things are coming alive, hope, excitement, possibility, planting (care), irritation (allergy season), beauty, things are sprouting up around you everywhere, opportunity, focus changes, dream, undetermined/inconsistent weather, rainy days, time change. 
3. Summer: things are in full bloom, love, alive, much to do, productive, prosperity, hot, fun, friends/family, more time, out more (more time), more exposure, less covered/hidden. 
4. Fall: things are starting to die, days are getting shorter, nights are coming sooner, some see beauty others not, time change.

Comparison - Apply

1.   Winter: show U how he or she will/does handle: loss, cold/dark days-rejection, death to an idea/dream/vision, having to wait, be patient, not being able to do (as much), non-productive times, anxiety, plan/prepare for next season, saver/investor, set in ways, are they evasive, heart issues/concerns, questions that cause them to open up.

2.   Spring: shows U how he or she will/does handle: distractions (beauty, multiple opportunities), balance w/ so much available to them/to do, inconsistencies, do they finish what started, pursuing dreams (able to dream again after a loss), sad/low times, frustration, open to change, needy, demonstration of care/respect.

3.   Summer: show U how he or she will/does handle: hot under the skin annoying situations, good times (do they go over-board or even keel), prioritizes time, freedom, more time/timeliness, selfishness, friends/family, love (matters of heart), commitment/follow-thru (full bloom), and possessive.

4.   Fall: show U how he or she will/does handle: difference of opinion, optimist or pessimist, losing time, flexible to change, confusion, let things go, argumentative

Questions to consider
What season are U in your life? What season is your significant other in? How do U and they handle these seasons? Whatever season they/you are in right now, what are you seeing? If this season never changes, can U live with and be with what you see, feel, experience, know for the rest of your life?

Wouldn't this be a great evening discussion - putting it in this context may take the pressure of sharing where U - each of you are. As you traverse through each season and experience, ask God to show you them and you. Do not exchange the truth for a lie just to have someone?

*Unless otherwise noted, all thoughts, expressions, quotes, etc. are the original words/creation/conceptions of #Dr. Tuesday.

The Purpose of Sex

There is a scriptural principle in biblical research called, "the law of first mentioned". The law of first mention is said to be the principle that requires one to go to that portion of the Scriptures where a doctrine is mentioned for the first time and to study the first occurrence of the same in order to get the fundamental inherent meaning of that doctrine. With that in mind, let's talk about the purpose of sex. (God gave us this wonderful way of sharing, to be sure we are on the same page - God's page.) The Bible refers to Adam "knowing" his wife. Jacob went into to Leah and knew her. Judah never "knew" Tamar again. This use of the word "knowing" and "knew" means they were intimately acquainted or had a sexual encounter. God's original intent for sex was in and from the beginning has not changed...It was for marriage between a man and a woman. 

Sex was given to a couple - a male and female. They were created in God's image for His glory. First the male, then the woman from man for as his glory. He gave sex to man for woman and woman for man. His purpose was to bring one into the other; to know the other intimately, to manifest God (make-create love - God is love) in marriage. It is for the purpose of reproducing and that (re)production is after their own kind. It is a form of worship. I know for some that is a deep thought, but it is truth.

Why? How is it worship? When we are married, we make love.  We literally create God because God is love. If we consider this as singles, we may rethink entering into sexual encounters with those we are not yet or will never be married to. It is more than just fulfilling and meeting a need or releasing lust. 

The seed of a man is valuable and has purpose. Seed not planted (comes forth by the millions) is not producing.  Thus it is wasted and God is not pleased (Gen 38:9,10). Because anything that is not doing what it is or was created to, serves no purpose. It is useless to creation and its advancement.  Remember the fig tree in Matthew 21 and the vine in John 15. In God's world which is the right way of doing things, EVERYTHING, even sex (in marriage) has a grand purpose. So, why not make this time(s) (with your spouse) grand?  This is where and how the mystery of the 2 becoming 1 happens - one in flesh and in spirit.

No longer see the intimate moments and times (with your spouse) as a duty or for selfish motives. Make her want you in worship. Draw him into you into  - through the new idea of worship. Cause your spouse to desire (more) worship...to hear God say, even in this, "Well done, thy good and faithful servants, you have been faithful over this little and I will make you ruler of much."... To hear Him say, to know...You served well.  You want more, worship more. It is worship and it pleases God. So, yes! "Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise and bless His Holy Name". I know that is too much for some of you but again, it is truth anyhow. And for me, who is single and waiting right; and a worshipper, this encourages me!

I was in worship the other day and the presence of God - His love, care, and tenderness was so overwhelming, I could not stand. I could not stop releasing tears and telling Him and Jesus how much I love and appreciate Him/Them. That is how your worship of, in and through intimacy (with your spouse and mine when he comes to find) can be. 

So many of us had and have it so wrong about what sex is for and about. You get this revelation and truth...intimacy (in to me you see) and sex in your marriage will take on a whole other view and approach. And for the singles; men and women, it should give you a desire to wait and wait right. Can you imagine the freedom of your intimacy when you know that what is done in agreement between (only) the two of you is God's will and desire for you? When your desire is to please God and your spouse before yourself? Preferring them above and before you. My, my, my...exponential...off the charts, out the root! Up up and away! 

I always say, animals (cows, horses and probably roaches) have sex. But only those created in God's image for His good pleasure can make love, and thus create Him who is Love.  Sex is to be enjoyed and carefully entered into through love (God) - in agreement (covenant) with His will and way. It is not like you are driving onto a car lot, picking a car you like, climbing in and test driving it; only to park it back on the lot - often not in the space you took it from with less power and or gas in it. It was not intended for use prior to marriage but after you say, "I do"; after you come in agreement (purchase) and take all the responsibility of it (pay the bill(s) - note, insurance, maintenance, etc.). Many, if not most of us have made and continued to make this mistake and wonder why after marriage, the sex drive/appetite/desire/response changes. Because you previously drove something that wasn't yours yet. When I purchase a car, I am clear if I am looking for new or used and if so how used - how many previous owners and how many miles. 

Excluding an illness, children who don't have structure and bedtime, work that exhausts you everyday, long days because you are a work-a-holic, financial issues because you live outside of your means or legitimate loss, just don't feel like it, going outside of the marriage to get satisfied...excluding all that...I encourage you to make adequate time for intimacy and sex with your spouse. Now remember men, for her it starts long before the bedroom and bed. And may I interject this, a number of these things existed when you were dating and "getting busy" all the time - none of that mattered, but now everything interferes. Ever wondered why?

Let me tell you, you can't expect to come into God's plan "doing it" your way and then asking Him to bless it for life. You left/leave a foothold for the enemy. God's Word says (paraphrasing), do not withhold sex from one another for lengths of time - except where you have both agreed and then for only a set time or else the enemy gets a foothold. So how do you (both) fix that? Repent (changing the way we think about and approach a thing to align with God's way) and ask God for forgiveness for not honoring His purpose and original intent for sex after marriage. Now, that you have asked for forgiveness and changed your mind about it and have the truth about it - do something and do something different...always in agreement. Now don't bring other people, animals, or dare I say porn into your haven, marriage bed and covenant. I earnestly believe, if you grab a hold of this, you won't need any of that. Those who are married, take back the intimacy of your marriage, obey the Word of Lord and as my Grandma would say, "Have fun at it!". (I loved that lady!)

To you who are single, you are now equipped with this knowledge and can begin to prepare yourself for HOLY matrimony. Get ready. Trust God that your intended spouse will come and will not delay. Make sure you are on one accord and expect - anticipate a blessed union and communion on your night of consummation. Let it be the start of an amazing love life and life of love.

Let our desire alway be to please God in every area of our lives and to give and bring Him glory, even in our intimacy with our spouse. (Rom 12:1,2)    

*Unless otherwise noted, all thoughts, expressions, quotes, etc. are the original words/creation/conceptions of #Dr. Tuesday.