It is the beginning of the end or already over...

It is the beginning of the end or already the end when a woman is  fed up and has stopped arguing and or crying about you, because of you or for you. It take a loooong time (men seem to get here quicker); often YEARS for her to get there. Years that have been based and bathed in many failed and false promises, hurts, unresolved issues, disappointments, her trying to talk and tell but not being heard or respected, etc. Now you men experience this as well but again it takes you less time and chances to come to this place than women. 

Everyone's emotions; particularly those demonstrated are tied to the heart. We argue, cry, get angry, pray because we are hurt, disappointed, concerned, want something or bod to change or want to be heard and understood. We (she) cry, hurt, are concerned because we care...Care about you, the relationship, the situation. Her silence and lack of tears denotes she is no longer hurt or angry...She cares...for you. But she has come to a place call RESOLVE. She has accepted (resolved) - is at peace (soul's mind and emotion) that her man - the relationship or situation will not change. She is done. She is moving towards or already has a plan. She may live with you, be with you, do for you, talk to you but her heart will be far from you. 

This my dear brothers is not a good place to be and not one you want or should ever allow it or her to get to this place. God's Word tell you in 1 Pet 3:5-8, "...husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way (patience) [be a good husband to your wife, with great gentleness and tact, and with an intelligent regard for the marriage relationship, honor them, delight in them], as with someone physically weaker, since she is a woman. Show her honor and respect as a fellow heir of the grace of life (as a equal), so that your prayers will not be hindered or ineffective. Finally, all of you be like-minded [united in spirit], sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted [courteous and compassionate toward each other as members of one household], and humble in spirit;..."

Go get her: 

Pray (alone and together), talk, share, communicate, get counsel, be patient and loving, tell the truth, be honest, be kind in word and deed, have fun together, seek 1st (as the head and leader) to understand before you see to be understood. Resolve and seek agreement, peace and harmony. Don't settle for a roommate situation. She wants to love you (again), admire you, trust you, respect you...She really does want to exhale but she has held her breath so long waiting for you...that last thing was the pin that let her air out. She is deflated; probably not defeated (with that comes depression) but your genuine: effort, apology, an ask of forgiven, truthfulness and consistent steps towards change and rebuilding will inflate her again. It may be slow but slow and steady allows makes for good landing and port-a-cal. Catch that on your way home...😚😉🤔  You make think it is easier to let her go and get another but it's not. You've both invested too much. Treating, deweeding, fertilizing, and caring for and about your lawn is always best!!

Please note:

You have to want the relationship - marriage and all that comes with it as much as you want her and all the benefits; sex, cooked meals, clean house, etc. that come from having her. As the head and leader you have ALL access to God and the authority to command the devil to back up...sit down...shut up and get out of you, her, and your marriage...And that my dear brother is find and show nuf sexy to your woman! Just think what more you can have with her and get from her and God when you seek 1st to please Him and her. 

#drtuesday #DrTuesdayTIdbit #TheRelationshipCoach #RelatonshipsRule

What I've Learned | Tips to Help You #CYBS | Wisdom of Comey

On the morning of Comey's testimony before the Senate, I am remembering my Corporate America days; 1st with IBM, then EDS, Corning Labs, and finally GTE (now Verizon). About this time 18 years ago in May/June (I had just turned 32) under the leading of the Holy Spirit, I stepped out on faith and left it all: world travel, fine restaurants and hotels, weekend side-trips to islands, 6 figure salary, fast track to Vice President with an assigned mentor, purchased my home at 27, nice cars, etc.; I was living the life. 

In an overly predominant Caucasian male industry (System Engineer, Quality Auditor and Systems and Process Auditor - Certified in ALL) my knowledge and skills were often questioned, challenged, and tested. However, once my ability to do my job; often out performing my counter-parts, coming in on-time and under budget with good customer feedback, most would backup and down. Often the only double quota (Black Female) in the office or position, I sometimes faced subtle chauvinistic and prejudice mindsets. Never were they mean or overtly disrespectful. I must say, most of my years in Corporate was pleasant.  I do recall an inappropriare female and or black joke was tried during my tender 20's at one of those companies. I of course calmly and immediately shut that down. Side Note:  Don't start or allow anything that makes you uncomfortable.  They (men more than the women) were helpful to assist when I asked and share even when I didn't. I sensed and discovered that most (all) would only provide some knowledge and information but NEVER all! Leaving me to unnecessarily have to take time to go and get the rest of the information for myself.  The hope probrably being I would get overwhelmed, not be able to find it, fix it or get it done  However, what may have been meant to subtly sabotage became the set-up for my continuous growth and success. So much so, I advanced in Fortunate 100 and 500 companies in salary; quadrupling to 6 figures and in position from Systems Engineer to being selected - hand picked for the Vice President Mentor Training Program in a short span of 7 years. 

Because of the challenges I encountered and not knowing what could be said in a formal, informal, or impromptu meeting that perhaps later could be used for or 'against' me, I was led early on (not sure how I knew...ok God led me) to 'take notes'...Document-Document-Document. Like Comey, it saved me many a time...What I would like to share with you; Professionals and specifically; women and AA (minority) professionals is...

What Learned: 

1) Never come into a meeting without pen & notepad -  today that maybe your tablet. This is called Covering Your Backside #CYBS.

2) Jot down key words that will spark you member of what was said when you document the conversation 

3) While it is fresh, immediately after the meeting write-type-record a memo on your phone 

4) At a minimum, keep it though your next 2 reviews - If it can effect your job (positive or negative) later, keep it   

5) ALWAYS keep-save these types if documents-memos, thank you-appreciation emails/letters from clients, customers, peers, leadership, management, etc. on a separate drive 

6) Write your emails and personal notes like they may be used in a deposition : clear, concise, professional, and on topic 

7) NEVER write an email when you are angry - If you are not sure of your tone - have some you trust read it - read it aloud 

8) Never make known your hand until (if-when) it is needed and even then don't reveal the whole 

9) Find - get a mentor and a career coach 

10) Never let them see you sweat - cry, curse, scream in your car - at home 

11) Ask for help even when you know or have the answer 

12) Sure go to lunch - be mindful of what you say & share - NEVER gossip with co-workers about co-workers - use the infamous 'mmm', 'wow', 'really', 'hmmm' ... If damaging things were said document and never repeat it  - Going shows you are a team player - not saying anything makes you look suspicious or untrustworthy 

13) I say do not drink; during or after work hours with your co-workes. If you do only drink half a glass. NEVER get drunk with your team members and or co-workers.  Once on a business trip in Toronto, we met over lunch. They would order a bottle at lunch. I was in my early 20's and did not know how to say, 'No, thank you.".  I took a class, sipped a couple of times and left rest.  Though they considered it rude to not join them, today I would earnestly and politely decline.  

14) Find something (1-3 things) to share to talk about that is non-work related. Stay away from things like: spouse/marriage issues (good or bad - once you share good the expectation and natural progression is to and will be to share the bad), sexual encounters, 'Vegas' and drunken escapades, etc. In short, limit your real deep personal life issue.  If you don't want it known or repeated, don't share it in your office, business, professional settings.  

***Training leaders and professional for advancement and success***  

#TheVisionConsultant #DrTuesday A #DrTuesdayTidbit

New book Coming November, 2017

I Tasted My Tears Today was conceived at a time in Dr. Tuesday’s life where she had to taste her own tears because of her own decisions and a season in her life that God allowed her to face many challenges, trials, and losses. It was in tasting her tears she discovered a concealed disappointment with God. Had she not tasted the salt of these tears that held unhealed and unresolved hurt, pain, disappointment, fear, all the many questions of why…Had she not faced this truth; disappointment sat in silence transition disappointment to anger…with God.

I Tasted My Tears Today addresses times in our lives where we had to look at ourselves, face, confront, and tell the truth about why we are where we are and what really happened.  It was either what God allowed brought the questions of what HE allowed we vehemently fought against because we didn’t understand, trust Him or the process but it happened anyway or HE allowed it and we opposed it and did the opposite of what HE was directing us to do singing “I Will Do It My Way” or finally, it was a choice we made that brought us to this place and now it’s consequence we are living with.  And in it and through it, we had to taste our tears; tears of disappointment, frustration, hopeless, fear and anger with yourself, other people, and maybe even God.  Allowing yourself to taste your tears is apart of the necessary reality check and the healing process.

Now birthed. Dr. Tuesday invites you to take in this riveting compilation by thirteen independent authors who joins her in telling their story and speaking their truth from pain to truth to victory.  It is at the conclusion of each author’s story that you get a glimpse into Dr. Tuesday’s narrative related to the same topic. 

Tears once salty now sweet; sadness now joy; I Tasted My Tears Today will captivate you. You will laugh.  You will cry.  You will be challenged and celebrate with the writer.  You will gain a greater understanding of the importance and power of tasting and considering your tears.  Now, taste and see…

Dr. Tuesday Tate, once again, enters the literary world with a phenomenal venture and has now invited others to join her on this venture. Her personal mission synergizes her passions of purpose to elevate and charge others to their greatest potential through ministry, motivational speaking, writing, relationship coaching, and training.  Dr. Tuesday is charged and thrilled to be living out this part of her life’s purpose and helping others to do the same.  Through ATK Publishing, she provides practical and applicable training and equipping to authors and writers that help them tell their story and speak their truth.