Why do haters hate? Or in non-urban terms...Why do people dislike you or for no cause turn against you? In short it is a heart issue. For out of the heart, they speak or post and hide behind negative or passive aggressive comments. They hate because you have something (peace, confidence, relationship(s), talents/gifts/abilities, anointing, money, personality, friendships, looks, style, etc.) they want. And if they don't want it, they do not want you to have it. Or you have too much of it. Even more insane is how some have most of what I listed i.e., looks, success (past or present), relationship, talent, money; yet, they hate on you for....What?...For their own reasons (known or unknown), they feel that you are the competition. You may never know.
Haters juggle and struggle with jealousy, insecurity, and envy. They sow discourse. They may not want a business but they do not want to see or hear of you having one...and by all means do not let it or you be successful; impacting and changing lives by what you do. They may not want marriage but they hate that you have found love and they (secretly or publicly) hope yours fails. They criticize what they deem as failures in your life and use your misfortunes as a means or opportunity to discredit you. In some cases, the very thing they criticize you for is something they once admired you for, sought you out for wise counsel in (e.g., business, investments, relationship, children) or maybe even encouraged you to do (start a business, write a book, to not conform or shrink back but walk in your confident…What was once encouraged, supported and celebrated by them to do what all God called you to do is what they take pleasure in talking against it and you. Friends, mentors, sisters or brothers in Christ, family, etc. who transform into haters are the worse. They carry a heavy burden of bitterness because of life disappoints and failures, rejections, unmet needs, unhealed hurts and or unresolved issues. They are often mad at something or someone else; including themselves or maybe even God but they take it out on others. They have a disdain towards themselves manifesting in self-hate, insecurities, secret or self-sabotage criticism of themselves and others. Surprisingly, some haters hate but do not know why they hate or dislike people...They just do.
Haters juggle and struggle with jealousy, insecurity, and envy. They sow discourse. They may not want a business but they do not want to see or hear of you having one...and by all means do not let it or you be successful; impacting and changing lives by what you do. They may not want marriage but they hate that you have found love and they (secretly or publicly) hope yours fails. They criticize what they deem as failures in your life and use your misfortunes as a means or opportunity to discredit you. In some cases, the very thing they criticize you for is something they once admired you for, sought you out for wise counsel in (e.g., business, investments, relationship, children) or maybe even encouraged you to do (start a business, write a book, to not conform or shrink back but walk in your confident…What was once encouraged, supported and celebrated by them to do what all God called you to do is what they take pleasure in talking against it and you. Friends, mentors, sisters or brothers in Christ, family, etc. who transform into haters are the worse. They carry a heavy burden of bitterness because of life disappoints and failures, rejections, unmet needs, unhealed hurts and or unresolved issues. They are often mad at something or someone else; including themselves or maybe even God but they take it out on others. They have a disdain towards themselves manifesting in self-hate, insecurities, secret or self-sabotage criticism of themselves and others. Surprisingly, some haters hate but do not know why they hate or dislike people...They just do.
It is nothing you have done to them or said about them. There may have been a season that you were their tutor or they were yours or even a friend or associate but things or hey turn; the challenge of a hater is not to make and take every turn personally. It is possible to grow apart or experience a difference in opinion but still have a mutual respect. Unfortunately, hater will hate when they “feel” rejected or unable to control someone to resort to obsessive mean girl/boy tactics. Haters in these types of scenarios will seek to verbally, mentally or emotionally harm or rather discredit you. Their hope is to bring to questions or plant doubt and discord in others.
How? With their words. In today's world, that is done via social media with implied accusations or comments about someone. It is the nice nasty backhanded comments and compliments, the overt disrespect or "innocent" conversation that is really brought up to talk about a person and of course, we cannot forget the suggested 'prayer request' that is really being used to gossip. Haters do not want you to go further than them. All these types of things (and more) are done by haters - cowards whose goal is to criticize, discredit and build or increase a team of flunky followers to #hateonX. Somewhere along the way, haters forget that Galatians 6 says, "You reap what you sow." Why did I not mention physical harm? Well, most (adult) haters will not put their hands on you only their mouth or fingers via a keyboard and screen. There are six things God hates and seven He despises (Prov 6:16-19). God desires and commands us to love one another, be unitified, and live at peace (Ps 133:1, 1 John 4:12). Quit praying for miracles and you are participating in disunity, strife, and sowing discord!
The root cause of their hate is fear that manifests primarily in jealousy or envy, mean-spiritedness in words and or deed, gossip, conjuncture, etc. Haters are instruments of cruelty used by the devil. I once heard my previous Pastor say, "If folk ain't talk'n about you; meaning you have no haters, you probably ain't doing nothing (right) in God's Kingdom. If everybody loves you or that is our desire then you are probably living a false existence." And I add, you are probably not living life in God created capacity and purpose where others lives are being positively impacted! The devil and his instruments of discord hate purposeful Kingdom people!
Now hear me, some people are talked about - spoken of - disliked because of their treatment, talk and behavior towards or against others. The truth of who they really are is exposed; often not to the masses but to those who get close enough to see and experience. We are not speaking of a bad day but truly bad behavior. This is often not a hater but a justice seeker...They are those who tell the truth when asked. They do not freely offer information but when asked, justice seekers tell the truth of their experience, their part and others part; not to discredit or harm but make (fully) aware...It is not done maliciously or unsolicited. If given the assignment or opportunity, they will come to the hater – the offender or talk to them about those they are associated with who hate on others. They are not posting, commenting, jabbing, kissing you on the cheek and then outwardly or silently agreeing with others about what they don't like about you. Haters stay in other folk business and privately on other people’s pages. How else would they know what they are doing? They take issue with what others are doing or not doing.
Consider this
Why would anyone care about what another is doing or not doing? I remember a past mentor of mine saying how she spoke and taught on wealth and building business (enterprise) before she ever had a successful business. She was not an expert (at the time) but God gave her wisdom; not just knowledge on the subject. Then one day the principles that God gave her to teach others and they applied them to be successful boomeranged back to her and she grew a million dollar business. Haters are not Kingdom minded. They have limited thinking and want to limit you to human and natural resources when God has unlimited everything; knowledge, wisdom, resources, etc. and uses His chosen and willing vessels to do the supernatural through Him. It is HE who makes us meat for His use and uses the foolish things of this world to confound and bring to shame the wise of this limited world. I mean really, have you ever thought that maybe the one God is using is as much in awe of Him choosing and using them as you are mad because HE did. Why are you mad at them anyway? Go talk to God about that. Get mad at Him. It is of His good pleasure to choose, to will and to do through them.
Now, if this sister or Bishop Jakes who for 20+ years preached, taught and declared the mogul with see now with holes in his shoes and 1 suit from the floor of an A & P grocery store that they lived in the back of or any pastor or minister listened to haters, they would never preach, teach, counsel or advise on anything except what they have been trained in, lived through or been perfected in to be called and expert in. Now does that make sense? Hater hate because they do not understand or have forgotten that God can and will use whomever HE chooses however HE chooses. Why care about – hate on – dislike someone because of what they are doing; particularly when what they are doing God has anointed them to do it and it is inspiring, encouraging, providing principles, instructions and hope to others. The hated-on and the receivers are producing. Lord help haters. If your words are not helping; they (and you) are hindering.
Now, if this sister or Bishop Jakes who for 20+ years preached, taught and declared the mogul with see now with holes in his shoes and 1 suit from the floor of an A & P grocery store that they lived in the back of or any pastor or minister listened to haters, they would never preach, teach, counsel or advise on anything except what they have been trained in, lived through or been perfected in to be called and expert in. Now does that make sense? Hater hate because they do not understand or have forgotten that God can and will use whomever HE chooses however HE chooses. Why care about – hate on – dislike someone because of what they are doing; particularly when what they are doing God has anointed them to do it and it is inspiring, encouraging, providing principles, instructions and hope to others. The hated-on and the receivers are producing. Lord help haters. If your words are not helping; they (and you) are hindering.
When was the last time the hater took a risk outside of cowardly saying something behind your back or writing and posting something mean, ugly and unsubstantiated about someone else? What relationship or marriage have they spoken into, prayed for or counseled that interrupted a divorce or caused love and commitment to be restored? When was the last time they experienced a good love, whether it worked out the way they wanted it or not? When was the last time the hater experienced hurt, loss or perceived failure but God sustained them through it all and to they never missed a beat. When was the last time they had someone come back and say, "I'm sorry" or when was the last time they took responsibility for their part and truly humbled themselves to ask for forgiveness? When have they ever forgiven or loved the unlovable when they had every reason not to? What child have they prayed for, encouraged and stopped the plan of the enemy to take their life? What girl on a counter have stopped and helped? Has the hater ever cried out to God to show them themselves and change them…? Haters mask their controlling nature as being supportive or helpful. With them there are always strings attached to their support. They ask about what you are doing not to encourage but to compete.
Though many haters have their own set of accomplishments and accolades may follow them, I would pose these questions to the haters: Can you live without the likes, fans, followers, listeners, viewers, pats on the back? What 10, 20, 30, 40-year healthy friendship do they have? Are people in their lives to give and affirm them not because of who they are or what they do or because they are popular or connected with this person or that but they are there with and for them simply because they are a genuine person? Rarely does the hater have genuine support and friendships. Outside of their occupation; off the stage or away from the mic or podium, from behind the desk or camera, up from the couch, chair or computer; without credit or self-promotion, what life or lives have you touched, impacted, influenced or brought to Christ lately or ever? It is in this that true character and the love of God is shown. It is these things outside of our occupation and paycheck that shows genuine heart intent. It is not about being seen doing or connecting with the "right" people but knowing that God sees, hears and knows all.
Staying connected to God and His heart; pleasing Him and doing His will even when it hurts; including keeping your mouth off of others, minding your own business, forgiving and asking for forgiveness is not the haters creed. They live off of reservoir of their redemption. They refer to God or quote scripture but something in their heart towards others is not pure or genuine. One way this is evident in their not so discreet innuendos and hater-aide posts, comments and "I'm just say'n" remarks to others. Whatever happen to what our grandparents use to say, "If you don't have anything good to say, keep your mouth shut and don't say anything...maybe listen, knob and smile or remove yourself from the conversation so you aren't tempted."
Staying connected to God and His heart; pleasing Him and doing His will even when it hurts; including keeping your mouth off of others, minding your own business, forgiving and asking for forgiveness is not the haters creed. They live off of reservoir of their redemption. They refer to God or quote scripture but something in their heart towards others is not pure or genuine. One way this is evident in their not so discreet innuendos and hater-aide posts, comments and "I'm just say'n" remarks to others. Whatever happen to what our grandparents use to say, "If you don't have anything good to say, keep your mouth shut and don't say anything...maybe listen, knob and smile or remove yourself from the conversation so you aren't tempted." When you do not bridle that tongue, Genesis 49 says it like this, "...their swords (tongue and the words that come from it - James 3:5-12) are weapons of violence". James 3 says, "Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so." When you speak evil against or lies about someone and or privately wish their failure that is cursing...You my dear are a hater. Or as Ricky Smiley said, a "worker of iniquity". I would like to pose a very familiar platitude and relate it to this "get in and stay in your lane..." Again, mind your business.
The greater your anointing, calling, purpose, impact, and reach, the greater the silliness of haters. Yet, Jesus reminds us that your weapons are mighty in and through God...(2 Corinthians 10). Yes, haters will come. No, you have done nothing to warrant their words and treatment towards you but rejoice, God is your vindicator. HE will expose and HE will repay! Did HE not say touch not His anointed and do His prophet no harm? Well, that includes words. You can't change them. ONLY God can bring conviction and provoke them to (want to or see a need to) change! Now, unless God commands you, don't give them a seat at your table. It's hard but love your enemies. Pray for them and when (if) possible (try to) keep the peace and bless them! Remember: No weapon of word formed or deed done against you will prosper. It may start out moving, seeking to take you down but God has promised it will not advance and every tongue (word) that rises against you, HE will give you the power (wisdom, strategy, way in and out) to condemn; the weapon (whatever they use) and the word(s).
Message to the Hater
Stop it. Life and death are still in the power of your tongue (words) and those who continue to use them carelessly will eat the appetite of them. If you are a child of God of the King, the earth is His and everything it. You have no cause to hate. What HE has for you is for you. There is more than enough to go around. There is not need to be jealous or envious. If you are His child, HE wants to give you your purpose, assignment, open opportunities to you and advance you but you won't shut your mouth and get it and your keyboard off people. They ain't bother you, so why you bothering (messing). with them! This, messy is as messy does!
Back to the platitude, "stay in your lane" and "mind your own business." Ok, God gave you 1 or 2 lanes. Great, celebrate, actuate that thing but stay in your lane(s). Don't get mad, jealous, hate on the person God gave 4,5,6 lanes too. Listen, some are given streets (1 lane, lights, stop signs & lights, exits-can take/lead you to a highway) to ride on, take of, etc, some highways (2-4 lanes, can have tolls, may have timed lights, many exits-can take/lead you to a freeway or expressway) some freeways (many lanes, may or may not have tolls, no lights, few exits) and still others are given expressways (well maintained by others, multiple lanes, no tolls, no lights, very few exits-just go). Whatever your 'way' mind it. Create a parkway; decorate your 'way' and stay on it and in your lane (s). As a I once heard a sister say, "finesse" that thing and let others master theirs.
Go forth beloved, even if you have to go it alone for a season. You and God have already shown you make a pretty good team. HE has given you bounce back ability. If God is using someone; who are you to (now) say what they should or should not be doing. They are God's business, so mind your own business. Unless they switch lanes and start teaching a doctrine that is sending people to hell or misleading them; be quiet! If what they are staying true to the Word and providing others with godly counsel, advice, hope, and wisdom; hush your mouth. How bout staying in your lane and keep your unsolicited and unsubstantiated opinions to yourself. You don’t know what all they have in their arsenal and what all God has shown, charged and given them licensed and authority to do.
For His namesake and glory, repent for it is only Godly sorrow that brings about repentance. The repentance that comes from godly sorrow drives and makes you want to clear your name, make things right with others, do things right and treat people right...With all our gifts, talents, abilities, contract, looks, engagement, money, etc., our repentance is required daily and for some (haters) many times a day. Stop praying asking God to do this and that and go make things right with the person or persons you have done wrong with your deeds (slanderous posts) and tongue (that weapon of violence). God is not hearing the prayers of the hater; except the prayer of repentance and forgiveness. Maybe just maybe that is why your blessings have slowed down. You are living off residual redemption. Since you do not know when it will dry up; you might want to repent; get it right and together.
To the Hated:
Listen, I know it can hurt but don't sweat or trip on the haters. Let the haters hate. Let their hate become your motivator and elevator. They are a part of your making. Unbeknownst to them, God is using them to make you even greater. Jesus did say 'had they known they would not have lifted Him up!!! '
#enoughsaid
